Dear Mom, I miss you so much I can barely stand it. Words cannot express the depths of my despair. I am so thankful that I could bring you comfort in your final months, weeks, then days on this earth. There where difficult times but also precious moments that I will cherish forever – a smile, a touch, the love in your eyes when you looked at me, your laughter filling the room. I can hear your laughter ringing in my heart right now! I can’t believe that the silence took you away, that you are gone forever. I wonder if I will every laugh again, or feel anything but sadness and regret.

You always thought of others and helped so many people. You always made time for others, you were never too busy to help someone or give of yourself in some meaningful way. Even as the disease began to take a greater toll on you and you were losing control of your hands, you wanted to learn to knit again so you could make wool caps for little babies. You were a successful psychologist in South Florida for 20 years. You helped countless families and individuals meet their emotional challenges. You gave your time and money to support charitable causes and participated in events that raised funds for things like AIDS awareness and breast cancer. The list goes on and on. I am not half the women you were mom, but I know you were proud of me and never missed an opportunity to tell me so.

Even though you felt scared, frightened and alone in those dark months before you left us forever, you never lost your positive nature. You were so brave. Throughout your life you were always so positive and energetic. You had been so fit, healthy and vibrant. In the end you clung to life. You wanted so much to live. You had so much more to do! If only there had been a way to fight this terrible thing, you would have won.

I was lucky to have had such a compassionate, supportive, intelligent, strong woman as you for a mother! I feel so lost and alone without you. I hope it get easier as time passes. You are my best friend. I love you so much. You believed in past lives and reincarnation, I hope you are right. I want so badly to believe that I will see you again. What a beautiful woman you were, to me you are now a beautiful butterfly floating past me on a breeze, and also a bright star in the night sky, shinning down on me, comforting me in this dark and sad time.

My beautiful, kind mother, I will love you forever and ever, throughout time. I hope we find each other again, in another life.

Your loving daughter, forever and ever... Valerie